Tears rolled down my young chubby cheeks as I held his laptop with my post-utme results which was a little above pass mark. It was a battle between both of my parents who would scream more at me, they finally had a blind agreement and joined forces at me each yelling and shouting, their major point being that i wasn’t serious with my studies. The allegations laid against me was that I fixed my eyes on the TV and ignored my books. I couldn’t defend these accusations either, I locked up myself and wailed, wept and cursed simultaneously. I blamed myself, blamed God at the same time. Everybody acted like nothing wrong was going on and my melt down was seemingly normal till my sister came knocking on the door. She held my hands and narrated how life hasn’t been much of a straight line for her. She was encouraging me before my dad walked in, he sat down at the edge of the bed and started narrating his life story, he also reiterated that every thing would be alright at the end.
Prior to this moment, I always saw my father as a disciplinarian, a demigod of whom I had to constantly seek approval from. Every good thing I did was not for my happiness or self-satisfaction, it was for him to put on a smile and pat me on the back. That ‘I’m proud of you’ face which he never said to me was all I wanted to see. I was always terrified as u lived each day of my young primary school life with him. Don’t get me wrong at this point, Dad is a good teacher; at least I remember the times he taught me to draw and color a cup which I still suck at, also his famous vicious circle of poverty which was almost rehearsed every holiday lol, Dad is also a comedian; always mimicking mom at any slightest chance lol! and an irreplaceable personality in my life but the young child in me didn’t see all of this may be because he was an ardent believer of “spare the rod and spoil the child” oh wait! I remember this episode, I was 6 or 7 years at the time when I was acting referee for my brothers who were playing football till a mischievous spirit got the best of me and I drank OMO water, I saw terrible things that day as I was beaten blue and black before my dad finally treated me.
I never cherished these moments till adulthood, I would say now I know better. The hate and resentment I had before now have since changed to love. I know better now, I understood better that every thing my dad did for me, he did for love, those moments he didn’t want me to travel and I kept malice with him for days, the times we totally misunderstood each other, the moments we argued, I know you wouldn’t still let me drive alone even after I had completed my driving lessons because you think I’ve not perfected and i have to drive you to the village alone before i finally get a pass mark from you lol, all of the decisions you took on my behalf, you did because you never wanted to see me suffer. He sacrificed luxury and comfort to see me through school making sure I lacked nothing.
Thank you for the days you had to wake me up for work, cheered me on the days i did well on the news and presentations, the days you had to check on me through endless calls, the moments you gave your favourite biscuit (Jacobs crackers) for me to have breakfast before work, those times you made fun of my thrift shopping and for pointing out my flaws to make me a better person. Thank you!
I pray God to keep blessing you and keep you alive in strong health and sound mind long enough to see my three kids, future husband, progressing career, my Grammy red carpet pictures and finally spend the holidays in Zanzibar island (an all expense paid trip by me)
Your daughter, kaycee