I acknowledge this as part in many characters. I don’t know which side of me to show till I low key observe you and know what part of me you’d be most comfortable with. I don’t go to a lot of public events, I don’t party, corporate meetings suck and I’m not about that life. Recently someone asked me if I’m an extrovert or introvert. I didn’t know exactly what to answer. If there was an intermediary between the two, I would probably had chosen that. Oh wait! I’m a total Grinch. I’m a boring person, you would hate me on a first meeting but I don’t know anyway you might get to like me.
I’m trying to explain in the last paragraph that my personality depends on my mood. It changes so fast like a chameleon. I don’t have mood swings. That would be horrible and non-delightable but what other word would I use to explain this? That my personality rests on the mood I’m in. I don’t know how to act in public places. Should I be prim and proper, have it all together, cross my legs and sip my wine gently or should I let out the craze outta my bag; dance around, laugh in loud and uncoordinated manner. Sorry but not sorry, writing this just made me realize I’m the ‘B’ type of person. I don’t know how to laugh and this makes me socially awkward. It feels so stupid afterwards when you laugh at your own jokes or any other joke that doesn’t appeal to other persons in a group. I laugh the loudest out of all my friends. I don’t know how to smile, I either laugh too loud or don’t laugh at all. I suck at pretending too. I hope people don’t mistaken my laughter for some mental bereavement and cost me destiny.
If you’re looking forward to finally meeting me someday, I should remind you what you’re up for. Below is what a typical conversation with me would look like on a first date. This excludes romantic dates and business meetings. Only formal and cordial meetings.
ME: Hey, how are you doing?
PERSON: I’m Good, how are you?
ME: I’m good too. Ummhh what’s up? You already know me, so no introduction needed.
PERSON: I’m good. (Inserts a compliment)
ME: thank you, inserts my own compliment just to reciprocate. Then after this, there’s a momentary break in silence, awkward silence though while I’m still searching for topics that are not controversial and we can discuss in laughter. While, I searching for this topics in my mind, this person takes off with the ending statement ‘it was nice meeting you’ I know they’re lying and don’t wanna meet me again.
Well, I’m socially awkward and I’m working towards changing this incase I become a celebrity and start making appearances and book signing. It won’t be nice seeing me on TMZ with that BS.
ps|| Forgive any typos as I didn’t proof read this post.