I’ve heard preachers, inspirational talk host or just social media celebrities speak on how different genders process issues, men processing theirs internally and women speaking up more often than men.
This is because Men are taught to be stronger and bottle up everything on the inside so the mountain on which they’re standing won’t be seen crumbling down and by mountain, I meant their ego.
I have a little brother aged 7 years who indirectly have learnt that he shouldn’t speak up when he’s hurt or talk about his weaknesses because his gender isn’t expected to communicate these issues rather take actions to solve them. Asides from these little boy, there’s nothing that happened in my life suggesting I keep shut when life issues overwhelm me but to avoid being seen as weak and vulnerable, I absorb these issues and promise to resolve this by myself but most times, I never do. It infact resulted in multiple series of mood swings and even led me to a sunken place.
When do we speak? When do we realize we can’t handle it better? When do we take that move to see a therapist? When do we vent it all to a trusted person?
For this to happen, you must drop the fear of being judged. I was in this cage for so long, I thought opening up to someone will bring further damnation, criticism and unforseen arguments to prove that I was right so in order to avoid all of these, I would prefer to talk to myself instead. I solved this by making my circle smaller. I didn’t know so much about visiting a therapist when I had these issues and even if I knew about them, I didn’t have the funds to but I found a friend. It took about few months to totally trust this person with my secret and when I began to share my problems, I felt a relief, help from all these burden and joy unspeakable.
So when do you speak? I’d say speak when life’s lemons becomes unbearable and the burden seems too heavy to bear. Speak to a trusted friend but there’s also a friend I’d love you to meet. He’s the one who sticks closer than a brother and all your friends combined. He’s the holyspirit. He’s been tested and trusted and can keep your deepest and darkest secrets safe and secure while helping you walk through life unharmed and the best of all is that he’s waiting on you and the amazing fact is that he’s not dumb, he actually responds when you ask him to. Take that step today and invite him over!